Auckland PSI^TM  Institute                                                       

1. Set up demand self feeding for each family member equally (regardless of weight). Have a shopping list available for all to add to (help children who can not write add their items). Each person has access to food s/he likes 24 hours per day (this may mean setting up special private food drawers or shelves for special foods). The Method:

a. Ask "are you hungry" instead of saying "time to eat".

b. Ask "what do you want to eat?" if the first answer is yes.

c. Help the child find those foods and offer available options

d. Legalize all foods

e. Ask "are you full?’ rather than saying "that's enough!" or "finish what's on your plate!" Make sure there is always more than enough so the child can learn to determine what enough feels like from the inside. Individual differences should be respected and encouraged. No one outside can know what the child really needs, and needs vary from day-to-day depending on amount of growing and physical activity.

2. Using this approach means that all eating does not take place during "family meals", but that food is available then for those who are hungry. Meal times can still be a place for family to gather and connect, but without any expectations about what gets eaten when and by whom. Or, other special family times can be arranged that don't focus on food at all.

3. All foods are equalized. No food is stigmatized as "bad". If a child tests you by having candy for breakfast, trust that if you make nutritious foods available, s/he will eventually gravitate toward a balanced diet once forbidden foods lose their thrill.

4. If you are worried about your child's weight, get support to help you advocate for him/her no matter what the size. Read and learn to challenge fat phobia, both inside you and in the culture. Insist that no matter what one's size, everyone has the right to eat when hungry. Criticize anti-fat comments and jokes on T.V. in front of your child. Encourage him/her to develop strength and confidence and to challenge others. Visit the web site http://www.about-face.org for more resources.

5. If your child hates her/his body, appears to be restricting calories, or shows signs of a possible eating disorder, get help immediately. See web sites at http://www.about-face.org and http://www.cmhc.com/guide/eating.htm  for further resources.

 Link to:  Family Counselling     Helping a Loved One with an Eating Disorder        Power and the Family

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