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tPsychotherapy for the Whole Person t Training and Supervision for Healers t
 

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         I have often worked effectively with individuals using some of the approaches listed below, but working through issues with the people you are having issues with, when possible, works faster and there is less tendency to relapse because it is harder for an individual to change when the family system stays the same.

        I use a combination of theories and approaches to systems-based individual therapy, family therapy and couples counselling:

  Hakomi Couples Therapy  (Ron Kurtz):  Incorporating somatic awareness work in couples therapy is very powerful and effective,  most especially for deescalating fights and for helping with sexual problems. Hakomi Somatic awareness   teaches mindfulness and empathy with self and other.

   Imago Therapy (Harville Hendrix) presents ways for partners to be more loving and compassionate with one
another. He says safety is the key to passion and intimacy. He suggests that we try to remember
the ways we saw our partner when we first fell in love, and work through our tendencies to project
our experiences with our parents onto our partners, so as to attain deep relational satisfaction. 

  Murray Bowen developed a technique that involves the use of a genogram- which is like an
emotional family tree that maps out the family system pictorially, going up at least one or two
generations to reveal generational patterns. this is a way for all present to get a history, and to see present patterns and how that all ties in.

  John Gottman developed a scientifically based approach to marriage therapy from his
extensive observations of and research with couples and families in his lab. One of his most
 important contributions, in my opinion, is the concept of the emotional bank account.   He explains that for every negative encounter there should be at least 5 positive encounters in the "bank account" to help the couple get through hard times. He emphasizes ways to build up this account in preparation for when it is needed. He also talks about recurrent problems, explaining that most (he says 60% of) relationship problems are not solvable, and that it is how the couple engages in and moves through the problem each time it presents itself (again and again) that determines the success or failure of a relationship.
 

  Virginia Satir studied patterns of communication, and the impact of those communication styles, and developed an approach to teaching healthier communication, which I believe is absolutely key to effective relationship counseling.
 

I combine all of these approaches, emphasizing whatever works best for each specific individual, couple or family.

In addition, when relevant, I apply the insights I have gained from my experiences and specializations in  trauma work and in working with eating problems, to my approach to family therapy.
 

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        * This article does not apply to couples struggling with physical or sexual abuse. Much stronger interventions are required in those cases to first and foremost keep all parties physically safe.  Couples therapy should not be attempted in these cases until the abuse has clearly and permanently been halted. For resources on this topic, please see: http://www.womensrefuge.org.nz/need_help.asp

More Articles:

 Psychotherapy for Couples, Myths and Truths about "Happy Couples"; Relationship Issues;  Power and the family; Helping a loved one with bulimia;  Overcoming Powerlessness;  Feeding  the Family Non-Compulsively;  Domestic Violence; Techniques to Help Survivors of Childhood Abuse

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